ambrosia's chocnuts: Chapter I : SWEET LOVE and DIARIES

Monday, July 27, 2009

Chapter I : SWEET LOVE and DIARIES

1.1
SARAH G'S DIARY #1 her birthday entry

Two days after my birthday. I enjoyed the five days off they have given me. I was able to spend time with my family. It kinda felt weird not needing to get up early but I appreciate the rest. It’s been a non-stop whole year for me. Not that I’m complaining. I’ve been so blessed. Thank you Lord. I was just dreaming. I never thought it would come to this. It’s worth all the puyat, pagod, all the sacrifices.

Yesterday was ASAP. It was Sunday. Sunday is my favorite day as you know. It has been for a long time now. I enjoy performing before ASAP’s audience. Come to think of it, I love to perform whether it’s on ASAP’s stage or on any other stage. It’s just that ASAP’s stage is like home to me. I have my friends backing me up on the side.

Last night was fun too. i was able to spend some time with friends, though i felt bad for my friend. Good thing, she's ok now.

I’m afraid to say this. I feel that putting what I have to say in words will make it truer. And truth most times can be painful. I’m not sure if I’m ready yet to get hurt. But, it’s what I feel right now, so I share my secrets to you even for just today.

Sunday has become my favorite day because of one person, because of this one guy. I didn’t realize how special he had become to me until it was already too late. I was already affected by his mere presence --or absence. We started as acquaintances, then we worked together, and we became friends. I love being his friend. He knows how to make me feel special. And I always have to convince myself and remind myself that I am just that—a friend. I may feel that I’m special to him, but I am just a friend. Nothing more. I’m not ready yet to feel anything more for anyone—especially for him. Friendship is safe.

I miss the old days—the shooting days, I mean. Everyday, I was looking forward to shooting and seeing him. Well, because we’re friends. And I like spending time with him. He makes me happy. But lately, it has been like a roller coaster ride. The friendship was not so safe anymore. I know I like him. I’m not sure if he likes me as much. I know I’m special to him though I’m not sure how much. I’m afraid to find out. And I’m not ready yet. But I like him. Now, it has become hard to be close to him because people notice. Or to avoid him because what would he think? It’s difficult because I want to stay friends with him, yet I feel something for him. Friendship really isn’t safe anymore. I've never been in this situation before. This is a first for me.

Tomorrow will be another day. I guess, I’ll have to take each day as it comes. Hopefully I will always have the strength to keep my emotions at bay. Lord, please help me. For now, I will like him from afar. And if he really likes me, I wish he will wait for me. Until I am ready. I hope because he knows me, he knows also that he too is special to me.

I know I’m special to him (especially as a friend). This guy’s so sweet and generous. Last time for my birthday, he surprised me with an LV.

And yesterday, he gave me THIS GIFT. Thank you...

B: please, forgive me OO. But i do wonder what's his 'real' gift for you.

7 comments:

AnonymousJuly 28, 2009 at 10:21 AM
How I wish this is really Sarah's diary. These lines made me quiver... "And if he really likes me, I wish he will wait for me. Until I am ready. I hope because he knows me, he knows also that he too is special to me."

My day is already made. :) Thank you.

.....Ladyblue
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asher4everJuly 28, 2009 at 1:55 PM
yayyyy..finally nakapagcomment din ako hehe!!!

Happy Beerday ate!!! Galing naman ng blog launch talagang in time for ur bday hehe!!! sorry naman late na ang greeting kasi naman kahapon pa ko nagtatry magpost ng comment ayaw masubmit:(

Sunday has become my favorite day because of one person, because of this one guy. I didn’t realize how special he had become to me until it was already too late. I was already affected by his mere presence --or absence. We started as acquaintances, then we worked together, and we became friends. I love being his friend. He knows how to make me feel special. And I always have to convince myself and remind myself that I am just that—a friend. I may feel that I’m special to him, but I am just a friend. Nothing more. I’m not ready yet to feel anything more for anyone—especially for him. Friendship is safe.

I miss the old days—the shooting days, I mean. Everyday, I was looking forward to shooting and seeing him. Well, because we’re friends. And I like spending time with him. He makes me happy. But lately, it has been like a roller coaster ride. The friendship was not so safe anymore. I know I like him. I’m not sure if he likes me as much. I know I’m special to him though I’m not sure how much. I’m afraid to find out. And I’m not ready yet. But I like him. Now, it has become hard to be close to him because people notice. Or to avoid him because what would he think? It’s difficult because I want to stay friends with him, yet I feel something for him. Friendship really isn’t safe anymore. I've never been in this situation before. This is a first for me.

Tomorrow will be another day. I guess, I’ll have to take each day as it comes. Hopefully I will always have the strength to keep my emotions at bay. Lord, please help me. For now, I will like him from afar. And if he really likes me, I wish he will wait for me. Until I am ready. I hope because he knows me, he knows also that he too is special to me.

I know I’m special to him (especially as a friend). This guy’s so sweet and generous. Last time for my birthday, he surprised me with an LV.

And yesterday, he gave me THIS GIFT. Thank you...

While reading this, i dont know but feeling ko it was OO who wrote it talaga. I can feel her emotions in every words that you wrote. I can feel her sadness and her struggle to hide her true feeling for SF. Hayyy..sadness huhu!!!

Anyway, congratulations ate!!! Ur back atlast. Keep it up ate. Looking forward for ur next creation.
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tekaixJuly 28, 2009 at 2:10 PM
brosia...
sister baldik hindi ka lang 1st honor sa PEX ni bebe OO, pati dito din wagi ka sister.
oi BDAY mo bah?...late na ako noh?
sorry naman po...may ibang career eh.
nice entry ILURVE it..naway magpatuloy sa ka-ADDIKAN.

sana lang din mahintay siya ni SF talaga.

susundan ko etong blog mo...magsulat ka pa ng marami.

POWER HUG sis !!!
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Lola BrosiaJuly 28, 2009 at 2:17 PM
hi!

thank you for being my first guests!

i can't promise to always find the time to take a peek at their journals... but i will try.

si SF, may...basta! hehe

thank you again!
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AnonymousJuly 28, 2009 at 9:28 PM
congrats brosia!

another baldik whom we can be proud of....salamat, dalawa na kayong nagpapaligaya sa amin sa pagsusulat nyo.

congrats ulit! -***tekya_k
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AnonymousJuly 28, 2009 at 9:58 PM
ate brosia,
belated happy birthday and congratz! wow! i just dont know what to say...im just so proud to be baldiks....gosh, hindi lang story ni sis alexie ang aabangan ko...pati na rin itong journal nyo....more power and plz more kilig stuff like this...hahahhahahah

nadia
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AnonymousJuly 29, 2009 at 11:15 PM
halu, is this for real? i want to believe and believe...i would almost believe...but i would still believe for in my heart i've got a feeling...

thanks for this wonderful thing :)
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Who is Brosia?

I am Brosia. Not my real name but it's the name of my alter-ego. My other self. I've been a Brosia for awhile now. It's like a second skin to me already. I feel comfortable with it. It's like a mask, hand-made for me. Don't get me wrong. I like my real name. It's just that Brosia gives me the freedom that I need from the prying eyes of the world. It gives me anonymity. It gives me security. It keeps me sane. As Brosia, I can be whoever I want to be. I can also be as painfully honest as possible.

I always say that i'm a perfect example of "extreme paradox". So, if i were to try to describe myself, there'd be no simple way to do it. I'm a complicated individual. the only thing not complicated about me is my life. Everything else is. Including my thoughts on certain things. Especially my thoughts on certain things. i also like arguing with myself. So if now, i post these descriptions of myself, i might not agree about them anymore two weeks from now. i will have to change them. I'm a work in progress. I'm faithful to that idea. I keep that true and alive.

I have a fondness for chocolate ice cream. It has to be chocolate flavored. To me, an ice cream has to be chocolate. Cakes too. They have to be chocolate. Pancit canton should be hot and spicy. Coke should be ice-cold. Ulam must be sour and not sweet. Dessert has to be sweet. Rice should be white. Water must come from the refrigerator--whether it's already cold or not yet. Alarm clock should snooze twice only. Umbrellas are to be used only when it rains—never in summer. These are the things that are constant to me. Everything else can change.

But these are also true about me:

With a bad case of amnesia and alzheimer's disease,doesn't have any memorized song,drinks,no to hard,love language is time,feels weird about people who are generous with their praises (excluding people in my groups),loves to blog about sarahG & JLC,couch potato, book-addict (book-worm doesn't describe me),will watch any fave show or movie until i have memorized all the lines already,saw (still watching) my fave movies more than 30x,grey's anatomy, 'seriously!', enjoys smart lines, doesn't bother much with gadgets even cellphones ,can never be a techie,can 'not' comb hair in one week, sucker for romance-whatever or korean, cannot leave the house without a ball pen and a notebook, John as fave gospel, Paul as fave apostle,doesn't reply to text messages if there's no question, doesn't sleep, would rather stay up reading or watching-(people say it's weird but i feel normal),counts the stars in every opportunity,loves to stay home when it's raining,(rain brings a feeling of Saturday afternoon so when it rains, whatever time that is, for me it's Saturdayafternoon),impatient,conservative, loud,personality is extreme-contrasts, twisted, not sweet nor thoughtful, funny without trying or planning to, knows corny jokes only, can be soooo unreasonable in the morning, peak hour is 12midnight, fresh and creative ideas are usually realized in our comfort room, strict with students, crazy when with them,can eat Jollibee B1 everyday, will die if chicken becomes extinct, but won't die because of too much in take of pancit canton—it will last me a lifetime and another, forgets diet because of pizza.

I have a faithful God...

When He calls you, say YES first, then ask questions later...works better that way, life becomes easier... :-)

loved written words. I say that in past tense.

It's been awhile since i last wrote even in my journal. To be honest, i cannot remember anymore if it was last year or the year before that. i don't know what happened. i just woke up one late morning having no desire nor the inspiration to put my thoughts to written words. i just lost my connection to words. i lost all emotions also. nada. i just didn't care.

Until i met a new hero. she writes about Sarah and John Lloyd. her stories about them remind me of my lost love--for writing, of course. so, in her honor, and for my friends who have always encouraged me to write, and for the baldiks, i will try. i'm going to try. Again.

I only know jumbled thoughts. i can't claim to be a good writer. i just write my thoughts down. so, if you find yourself lost in the midst of my woven words and stories here, i say, you have been warned.