laws of love and gravity

Many of us have been fortunate enough to have found love of a great degree. A lot of us have experienced weeping over a love which ended. Though it was painful when it happened, only few of us actually regret being in that place at that time. It may be that painful, but the love itself that we felt almost makes up for the pain.

So what scares us when we fall in love? Is it our readiness? Or non-readiness, for that matter?

My theory is --it is the idea of falling. When we fall, we succumb to the magic of the law of gravity. We let go, whether it is our choice or not. The same thing happens when we fall in love. We fall, we succumb. We let go, hopefully because it is our choice. But even before a choice is made, we know falling is inevitable. And when we fall, we're not sure what awaits us. Will it be just a good old hard pavement or the arms that we're wishing to catch us?

She looked up into his eyes, and against all rules of gravity, she fell in love with him.

Time, whether a decade or just a year, was never a factor for fear. It never is. Only the act of falling.

Hope always accompanies fear. There's always hope that after the fall, what or who has fallen will be caught.

A great love finds its hearts. When one looks down, the other looks up, both of them fall, each heart waits and catches.


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my sabbatical leave has earned me a great one! yay!

lost and found and true love

Last night i found my voice. Today, i've found my words. It has been a long time, that it feels like so many years ago since i last wrote listening to my own voice. I've forgotten how it really sounded. For a long while, i penned words i got from listening to someone else's voice. I guess i didn't realize that i was lost, until i couldn't hear the resonance of my own voice. I tried looking for it in so many places, in strangers' hearts, in my friends' banter and advice-- i forgot to look first for and from where everything started--my heart.

I found my heart. I found my voice. I found my words.

I hope my friend will also find his. He's lost a part of his experience and growth because he's found his life. The one that completes his being. The reason why his heart would want to beat for this lifetime and the next. She who not merely excites him about life and living it, but whose smile reminds him of hope, of the beauty of sunrise, of rainbows after a little shower. She who has his heart. He has found her. I just hope, he soon will find his voice, his words.

True love knows when to happen. It follows its own time. It is only that people hesitate to listen lest it is too soon or too late. But a great love, once found, will find its own voice. And I have faith in John lloyd's great love. Love and its timing will surprise him when he finally tells her "i love you". For that is how love is-- never planned, always right on time.



Note:
i've been listening to his voice so frequently now that it feels like Lloydie has truly become a friend.

1.6. his thoughts, her thoughts

Love is irrevocable. Once admitted, once given, there’s no going back. I may be young but I know of this as much. This was what scared me most. So I thought of so many reasons, so many excuses not to finally face the truth. I invented so many ways of denying what was really happening. But I should have known better. For how can I turn a blind eye to something which exists not merely outside of me but inside my very heart? Even from the start I knew I was doomed to fall in love with him. The minute he smiled at me that day, I knew it to myself. My heart had been changed. There was no turning back.


I never knew I was in a journey, looking, until I found her. I know now it was inevitable. For a long time I struggled with how I felt. I wrestled with my feelings for her. I used all sorts of argument just so I could win over what I was truly feeling. I would have tried betting against myself if that’s possible just so I could avoid facing the truth. That I had fallen so deeply in love with her. But deep down also, I knew it was a lost battle. I knew it the first time I looked at her and sought her eyes. My life had been changed. My heart had taken control.


I smile and open my eyes wide. I see him in every corner of the room, smiling.


I smile and close my eyes. And even with my eyes closed I see her smile.


I don’t know when I’ll have the courage to be ready for a relationship. There’s one thing I’m so sure of though, I am ready to fall in love. I have been, since he entered my life.


I love her. I’m not sure how things will turn out. But I’ll be waiting until she’s ready. The other choice is simply out of the question. I love her, and there’s no other argument left.


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She smiles and sighs to herself.
He looks at her and smiles.


:-)

old butterfly

I've come to realize that life consists of different defining moments. There is the awakening-the "aha"-moment; and even that moment when one closes oneself off to the obvious truth. There's also the drifting along, or even the time of letting go. Every moment has its own story to tell. My life's moment now is defined by an old butterfly.

A caterpillar takes time in 'becoming'. It enjoys the process. It lives life though only borrowed. Then it is time to grow and fly. It comes out. The cocoon is left. A new life begins. A short one. This time as a butterfly--colorful, free, and pretty looking. But a short life.

And it flies and starts a life albeit knowing that it is almost at its end.

Some people are like that. They take so much time to grow. They stayed cocooned and safe for a long time, and when they are ready to fly and be free, their borrowed time is almost over. They have only less than half of the time they have been given. Most of it has been used in trying to be safe.

I'm not exactly sure if butterflies get old--whether one week old or more. If they do, at my age, sometimes i feel like the oldest butterfly.



note: wrote this a year ago or so, i thought of posting this for those people who are afraid to live life and just be happy. (*wink* to my BE friends hehe.... hi nadz! :-) )