Chapter II : 2.2. Before the Promise of Love in Time

He was excited eversince he learned of the production number they were going to do. One week, and all he could do was smile. He would see her again, talk to her.

“Look at Idan. Is our son starting to get crazy?” John lloyd heard his father ask his mom.

He realized he must have looked like an idiot smiling while he just stood in front of their kitchen’s refrigerator. He even forgot what it was that he was getting.

“What is it son? Spill it out.” Mommy Aida teased him.

John Lloyd opened the two door refrigerator and got a bottle of soda.

“Don’t mind me, I’ve just remembered something.” He was still smiling.

These days, he was finding it hard not to. He would see her again. That was a contant thought.

“What are your plans tomorrow?” John Lloyd asked his parents. His mother had just celebrated her birthday two days ago, and he was thinking they must have planned another celebration, after all it was the weekend.

“Your mom hasn’t made up her mind yet. But we’re kind of thinking watching ASAP tomorrow.”

“In the studio, you mean?”

“Yes, it’s been awhile since we last watched the show live.” His father looked at John Lloyd directly in the eye. The look was searching.

John Lloyd avoided his father’s eyes, “Ok I’ll ask Kuya Pip to give you passes.” Drank the soda in his hand.

He didn’t notice the exchange looks his parents shared.

***

John Lloyd purposely came to the venue five minutes late. He was excited to see her, yes; but he knew it was wrong.

He was in a relationship. He was with someone else. For him to feel this way toward Sarah was not fair to his girl of the present. And it would only hurt Sarah. He had to remember that.

He squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. He opened the door, and his eyes zeroed in on where she was, laughing with their friends.

“Oh God, I miss her!” He almost said aloud while he stood rooted where he was, just looking at her.

When he felt her eyes on him, he panicked. His heart did a somersault. It was just a quick look and her eyes were gone. His heart did a back flip.

There was that pain that he easily recognized for it had been his constant companion since he made a decision to stay away from her.

He noticed Billy motioning to him. His feet just carried him to where they were talking, to where she was. He could hear his own heartbeat.

“I have to go through this and come out alive, please.” He silently prayed.

Their friends were all smiling at him. Somebody said something, but he didn’t hear it. I have to say something. John lloyd thought.

“Hi guys! What’s up? Did you miss me?” He heard his voice croaked. He saw Vhong winked at him, that gave him courage to continue. “I miss you guys!”

He looked at Sarah. And he thought, I miss you.

She was gone for a month for her series of concert in Europe. Before that, there was very little chance to actually see her. Much less to talk to her. Now, she’s here again. She looked beautiful. Radiant. Almost glowing. She smelled nice.

“Wow ha, as if you’ve been gone long." John lloyd heard Iya said. He didn’t realize that he was just staring at Sarah the whole time. He felt a little embarrassed.

As conversations among friends would usually go, there was no awkward silence after that. He was glad his friends were there. Their friends. He never really explained it to them except to Luis, but they chose to honor his silence about the matter.

Their choreographer approached them and asked them to warm up. Luis came a few minutes later, as he came from his Myx taping. There started another bouts of laughter when they teased Luis about really coming from a date with Jennelyn. John Lloyd would steal a look at Sarah from time to time as she laughed at their jokes. He would come up with so many funny stuff, just so he could hear her laugh.

It was heaven to see her smile.

The routines for the production number were hilarious. They exchanged ideas. They were among friends, so John Lloyd felt comfortable.

Sarah must be feeling that way also. She would tease him from time to time. She laughed when Billy teased them when John Lloyd forgot a step and held Sarah’s hand, instead of pushing her away.

This must how heaven feels like in replay mode. John lloyd said to himself. To be with her, and see her smile at him and at their friends. He could feel his heart give a happy beat, only to feel another one when he saw her looking at him. Happiness. He wanted to bottle this moment and take it home with him.

It was a three hour rehearsal, but John Lloyd felt it was so short. He was enjoying the time spent with Sarah, even just through the excuse of doing a production number.

Then it was time to go.

She was the first one to leave. He wanted to go after her, but couldn’t.

It was not time yet. He promised not to get her confused, at least for now. He promised her parents. That was the only thing which was stopping him from actually following her and telling her how much he missed her.

That, and the fact that he chose to be with somebody else.

It was a wrong kind of relationship, he knew that. Luis even told him that he was only hurting himself. Not that he didn’t like Sheena. She was cool. And John Lloyd really thought that he could forget Sarah because of her.

It was late when he realized that some things never go away just because you will them to. He was already in a relationship with a girl he liked, but he couldn’t love nor promise forever.

And he already hurt Sarah.

“Uy, habol tingin.” Billy teased him. John Lloyd just smiled. Nikki and Iya raised their eyebrows.

“Really guys, I cannot understand your thinking sometimes.” Complained Anne. “Why do you choose to do the things that you do when clearly you feel otherwise?”

“O debate na ito.” Vhong said loudly, who gave a silent pat at John Loyd’s back.

Luis was just looking at John Lloyd. He looked at him. They understood each other. He would need a friend to talk to tonight, if he wanted to remain sane and not go to Sarah’s house and declare how much he loved her.

Not tonight. Not yet.

He made a promise.

For now he had that Sunday to look forward to, when he would see Sarah again.

He felt his heart came to life with that thought.

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It's been a looooong time since i last invaded John Lloyd's thoughts. I missed writing about him. :)