Their love story continues...

Chapter II

2.1.

After a Dream of Forever Love

She never really got over it.

Yes, her life continued. There were so many projects after that movie. Concerts abroad and a whole year Philippine tour. Commercial shoots. There were a lot of things that got her busy, even a short attempt in dating. But always, there was that nagging voice shadowing her and telling her it was far from over. At least for her.

Sarah got up from bed that early morning feeling like there was a big drum roll of a concert happening in her own heart.

Today was going to be specially difficult for her.

She was afraid of the thought that she would see him again. See him with another girl. The girl he chose to be with, instead of her.

How long had it been?

A year now, since she made a decision to not follow her heart.

Her heart knew she loved John Lloyd. There was no chance to take the thought nor the feeling back. Sarah admitted to herself that she had fallen in love with the guy who had been her charming leading man, even before the fear of falling for him could warn her of possible pain.

It was the day he gave her that pair of slippers. She looked at them, and she saw his heart.

But she was young.

She was afraid.

As much as she wanted to take the risk, she was not confident enough of her worth.

Sarah tried. She did try. She let him know in her own little ways that John Lloyd mattered to her. That his gestures of loving her and taking care of her were never unimportant nor unnoticed. But he never said anything. He didn’t say a word.

He just loved her and made her feel really special.

It was a torture to her patience and to her heart. She wanted to him to tell her what was happening between them.

She wanted him to ask her.

In her heart of hearts, Sarah wanted John Lloyd to tell her he loved her.

She couldn’t ask. No confidence to do that. After all, she thought “So what if he loves me? Can I love him back? Am I worthy enough? Am I ready to be his girl?”.

Things happened so fast.

It was a like she was thrown in a whirlwind. She just wanted to know how John Lloyd felt, that she tried dating another guy and see how he would react.

It was just one date.

A date that changed everything.

John Lloyd stopped calling. For a long time he would call even just to say “Good morning”. That stopped.

She wanted to ask why. Sarah wanted to ask if the idea of her dating was not okay with him. But she didn’t have enough courage to do that.

He probably didn’t love her. That she just imagined it.

Few weeks later, she learned he was dating a girl from the same show they were part of.

Her heart died its first death the day she saw them together.

That happened many times, that she learned how to act tough. There was no way she would allow him to know that he hurt her. However, her heart would experience slow death each time she would see him. See them together.

Today was one of those days.

They would be performing in one production number. The would have the rehearsal today. She had to calm her nerves and prepare her heart for the onslaught of emotions she was sure would come.

She readied herself. Her last emotional thought was “He doesn’t love me. He never did. And he’s no longer important to me.”

“Sarah, we missed you!” said Iya, one of her friends in the show.

“It feels like you’ve been away for like a year instead of just a month!”

“yeah, that’s how i feel also. I’m happy to be back.” Sarah kissed Iya on the cheek. They were at the rehearsal studio now. She could see some had arrived early.

“Oy, Sarah. Where’re our pasalubongs?” That’s Anne, smiling towards her. Behind her was Vhong. They had just entered the room.

They excitedly talked about her trip in Europe. Anne shared her experiences also, while Vhong teased her about being always on a trip and leaving him to host Showtime. When Nikki and Billy came in, the topic went from commitment to friendship to commitment in love as they all greeted the couple who was celebrating their three years together.

They were having a good laugh when Sarah’s eye caught John Lloyd who had just quietly entered the door.

Their eyes met.

But out of long habit of avoiding him, her eyes looked elsewhere.

“Here’s Lloydie. Wow, I’m excited to do this prod!” Billy signaled John Lloyd to join them.

“Hi guys! What’s up? Did you miss me?” John Lloyd smilingly asked his friends. He looked at them, but his eyes settled on Sarah’s as he said:

“I miss you guys!”

There was a few seconds of pregnant silence. No one said anything. Everybody just smiled. Until Iya chose to crack it.

“Wow ha, as if you’ve been gone long. “ She said, laughing at John Lloyd’s greeting. “We just saw each other the other day, funny Lloydie.”

Then, they started another topic and a few more rounds of laughter before their choreographer asked them to get ready.

Sarah felt relieved. He was alone. Her heart survived.

They had the rehearsal. She would always be grateful to their friends for being there, when things would have probably been awkward if it was just the two of them.

When it was time to go, she hurried. Her heart beating fast. It’s over.

She had to remind herself that. Tomorrow would be another day. At least today, her heart survived. Her pride made it.

She chanced a last look. Her eyes automatically sought John Lloyd’s. He was intently looking at her.

His eyes were telling her something.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Sarah wanted to go back and stay, but resisted. She waved goodbye to everyone, and left.

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John Lloyd's part... Before the Promise of Love in Time

Thank you Baldiks ..and thank you Sarah and John Lloyd for allowing me to shadow you and share in your love for each other. :)