5. 2 Kisses and Butterflies.

If the world could be defined by just one word, it would have to be “kiss”. The thought shamelessly ran through Sarah’s mind.

There was a tingling sensation somewhere inside her. She was sure a live butterfly was flapping its wings, she just could not place exactly where. She felt warmth all over but she vaguely remembered turning on the airconditioning that morning.

She started to feel like she was floating. Tentatively, she moved her hands. He tighten his hold of her. A small sigh escaped her. John Lloyd deepened the kiss.

She really was floating now. The thought passed through her mind as she felt her chest heave high, needing oxygen. She tried to move closer, seeking her source of breath. Of Life. John Lloyd tighten his hold.

The bulb switched on. In her head.

Sarah stepped back. She pushed John Lloyd.

“Wait. Let me hold you for a few more seconds.” He whispered in her ears.

“ If I let you go i’m afraid I might break into pieces.”

He was breathing heavily. Or was it her own breath that she was hearing? She felt feverish. She put her hands in front of her. John lloyd tried to catch them but Sarah’s knees wobbled. She almost fell down.

Without another word, John Lloyd picked her up in his arms and deposited her on the couch.

They just remained that way for God knew how long. It could be hours or just a minute. With Sarah lying on the couch, and John Lloyd seated beside her, holding her hand. Neither of them unwilling to break the silence.

Is this how couples are after they make love? They just hold hands, and be quiet and happy? Sarah thought. The picture John lloyd and she made sure looked like her dogs after a satisfying meal. They lay on the floor and slept. Sarah started to smile to herself.

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you smiling? What’s going on in that little head of yours?” John Lloyd smiled at her.

“Oh. I’m thinking of dogs.” Her smile widened. It reached her eyes. Then she burst out laughing.

“What?”

Sarah had no chance to explain. She started to feel the now familiar pains in her chest. She tried to calm herself by taking deep breaths. Sarah saw the panic in John lloyd’s face.

“What’s wrong? Where do you hurt?” The panic was in his voice too.

Sarah closed her eyes. Brain freeze. Brain freeze. He’s here. John lloyd is here. Brain freeze.

“I’m okay. I just need to rest.” She said in between gulps of breath.

She did not forget to take her medicine that morning. There were times that she would get tired and experience palpitations. Her doctor said, she merely had to relax and try to breathe evenly. She would be okay in a few minutes.

She just felt bad that John lloyd had to see her shameful display of weakness. She felt sad that she had to hear that fear in his voice as he tried to comfort her.

Her strength left her. She suddenly felt so exhausted. Her breathing was becoming even, but another form of pain started. A different kind.

The door opened. Her dad came.

Sarah felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She excused herself and went to her bedroom, where she stayed the whole afternoon.

***

There was a fine drizzle outside. The wind was colder than usual. The dusk in Guangzhou had settled in.

John lloyd was alone in the midst of a rushing crowd. He kept walking. He needed it.

Sarah’s father chose to tell him the truth.

Sarah was sick. It was a heart condition. The initial findings of the doctors showed that there was a problem in one of the heart valves. Though it was not dangerous, but Sarah would still need to rest. If she would not stop, then it could be fatal.

John lloyd’s heart skipped a beat when he heard that. And it had not beat its normal since then. He went outside and had not stopped walking.

A church’s bell made its way to his ears. He looked up and saw the small church in front of him.

He could not remember the last time that he actually prayed. His eyes sought the cross on top of it.

“Please.” John lloyd whispered. He groped but couldn't find the words.

“God, please.” He begged.

He felt hot tears run through his face, but he did not bother. He just stood there for a long time.

***

“He hasn’t come back.” Her father volunteered as Sarah came out of her room.

Her eyes automatically zeroed in at John Lloyd’s bag now seated at one of the kitchen chairs. Before her father could say another word, they both heard the doorbell. Her father answered the door. Sarah stayed rooted on her spot.

“Where did you go? You’re dripping wet.” Sarah’s dad scolded John Lloyd.

“I wanted to experience rain here in China.” John Lloyd smiled sheepishly.

“Have you had your dinner? Can I use your CR first?” He hurriedly went on.

Sarah’s father pointed to the door near the kitchen. John Lloyd passed by Sarah and smiled at her.

“Hi pretty.”

He opened the door and looked at them .

“I’m occupying the next apartment, but I haven’t had time to go to the grocery yet. I hope it’s okay if I have dinner here tonight. I haven’t eaten anything since last night. ”

His face broke into a smile. He winked at Sarah and closed the door.

A giant butterfly flapped its giant wings in Sarah’s stomach. It sure was a live one, and really large. She thought.

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I wanted to change the title to "Kisses and Butterflies, without Tongues" ... hahaha

ps. please post your comments/ suggestions.. thanks!