Chapter XIII : Trust and Shoelaces

Sarah was fuming mad.

The nerve of that guy! Who the heck does he think he is?

She went straight to her room and pressed John Lloyd’s number.

One ring. Two rings. Three. Four. Five.

He didn’t pick up.

She flopped down on her bed and imagined what she would say and do to him once she saw him.

She had not seen John Lloyd for two days. Their next shoot for MMK was scheduled the following week so there was no chance to talk to him unless he called or she did. But he did not see her nor call her. She was starting to wonder why he had not contacted her, worried that something was wrong despite their last conversation. Then she saw Randolph in their TV commercial presscon.

“John Lloyd and I are okay now.” He began. She was lost.

“We talked last night. He told me I can court you.”

“What?!”

“He said it’s okay if I court you. He’s alright with the competition. We shook hands on it.” He further explained.

Sarah did not hear the rest of what he said. She just nodded and shook her head at the right pauses, she hoped. She was confused. She was hurt. Before she reached her home, she was furious.

Now, she was feeling a mix of everything.

Beep.

A text message. From John Lloyd.

I miss you J

Sarah read it several times before she put down her mobile phone.

Sigh.

***

13.2

Sarah woke up a litte late. It was her free day. Her parents specifically requested to her manager that she be given at least two free days in a week. Her manager agreed, knowing that it was important for her health though her doctors had explained that Sarah was healthy now. Of course, not overdoing it was still important and recommended.

“Good morning.”

Her father was with their dogs. They ran to her when they saw her.

She froze when she saw him. John Lloyd was seated a few feet away from her. While she was still in her pajamas. She remembered. She recovered from the shock of seeing him too early in the morning. It was already 10 o’clock but that was beside the point.

“What are you doing here?” Her hands moved on their own, fixing her hair.

“He’s been here since 7 o’clock waiting for you to wake up.” Her dad explained, a hint of impatience in his voice. “Now I can take a shower and leave for the Resto. Have your breakfast.“ With that, her dad left them.

Silence.

Her dogs barked at them. The youngest went to him and barked at him. He patted it.

“How are you?” He asked.

“Are you asking the dog or me? “

“Both.”

“Ok, let’s wait for him to answer you first.” She was still feeling irritated with him.

He looked at her, studying her reaction.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Do I have any reason to be?”

“I’m sorry if I’ve not called, I wanted to but--- I tried to finish all my commitments so I could be free today.” He gave her an apologetic smile.

“But you had time to talk to Randolph.”

“Oh, he told you?” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Where do you get the nerve to talk to him about me, and you did not even plan to tell me?” She was more hurt than angry now.

“Why do you have to decide about whom I should like or not? Why are you giving me away?”

John Lloyd stood up and went to her, but he did not touch her.

“Of course not. I told you I wanted to give you the freedom to choose.”

“Then why do I feel like you’ve given me up?” Sarah impatiently wiped a tear which managed to escape her.

John Lloyd reached for both her hands.

“I’m not crying because of you.” She denied.

“I know.”

“I’ve hurt my eyes.”

“I know.”

“Let me go.” She tried to pull away but he did not let go of her hands.

“Let me make something clear first. I’ve not given up, nor will I ever. Unless you tell me. I’m all in for the fight. If that’s what it’d take, I’d fight for your love. But you have to decide if I’m the one you really want. I won’t force myself on you. “

Sarah listened to him and made a face before she turned away.

“I’ll make up for it.”

“How?”

“Have your breakfast first. I’m also hungry now. “ He smiled at her and her world became right again.

***

13.3

“What? This is how you plan to make up?” Sarah was looking at a pair of bicycles. The smaller one looked new and obviously for her. It was two in the afternoon but the weather was cold.

“We’ll bike around the village.” He was excited.

“We’re not even leaving our village?”

“ I’ve cleared my schedule so we can spend the whole day. I knew you’d be free today.” John Lloyd looked immensely proud of his plans.

Sarah rolled her eyes at him and got on the bicycle. John Lloyd followed her on his bicycle.

When they reached the third block, he cautioned her to slow down.

“Slowdown. I think this is a bad idea.” A note of worry in his voice.

Sarah stubbornly pedaled for more speed. He became more worried and pedaled after her. He tried to slow her down. She stopped.

“Can’t you stop worrying? I’m okay.”

“Yes, you are. But slow down a bit.” He sensed her irritation, but he coouldn’t help but worry about her.

“Ok, let’s not do this.” She got off her bicycle. She headed back to her house, leaving her bike and John Lloyd in his bicycle in the middle of the road.

“Sars!”

She continued walking. She heard him ran after her. She knew he would. She slowed down a bit. Her smile ready.

John Lloyd reached her.

“Where are you going?"

He looked at her and kneeled down.

"You might trip yourself with your shoelaces.” He told her as he tied her shoelaces that she didn’t notice had become undone.

John Lloyd took his time in fixing her shoes. Sarah tentatively touched his hair. He looked up.

She gave him a quiet smile.

He saw her glowing with the still cold sun and smiled at her.

He savored that moment when everything just felt perfect.

***

13.4

“Good morning!” She could hear his smile on his voice.

“Good morning”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did. Thank you. Where are you?” She asked.

“House. No work today.”

“Oh, good then. You can rest.”

“Let’s go out later.”

Silence.

“Sarah?”

“I’m here.”

“Did you hear me? It’s still your free day, right?”

“uhuh.”

“Let’s go out.” John Lloyd repeated his invitation.

“Hmmm I can’t.”

“You have plans with your family? Ok.”

“Actually no, not with my family.”

“Then...”

“I already have dinner plans with Randolph.” She closed her eyes and bit her tongue.

Silence.

“Lloydy, you still there?”

“um, yeah. “

“He invited me the other day and I said yes. “ She did not bother to explain to him that she was not aware that she nodded for a dinner date. She was also surprised when Randolph called her the night before to confirm with her about the dinner.

Sarah had second thoughts about it but she figured it would be better if she went. Better for her pride, and much better for John Lloyd’s. He claimed he was okay with it, she’d see if he really was.

“Anything else you want to say? ‘cause I’ll have to finish something first before I leave for my dinner date with Randolph later.” She rubbed it in.

“Ok. Enjoy your dinner.” And he hung up. He still managed to have the last words.

If Sarah was regretting that she agreed with the dinner, she was looking forward to it now. She knew though that she was not going to enjoy the night.

***

13.5

They went to an exclusive hotel-restaurant.

The place looked fantastic. The ambience was solemn and the choice of music great. And there was only one customer aside from them.

“Did you rent the place?” Sarah asked Randolph. She couldn’t help her curiosity.

“um, no. But this is good, don’t you think? It’s only us.” He smiled at her. She smiled back.

Randolph was a nice guy, she realized. He was very respectful with her parents when he came to her house. He even brought them gifts. He was also a gentleman. She decided she would try to enjoy this dinner date.

During dinner, she found herself half focusing only on her conversation with Randolph. There was something familiar with the other customer in the restaurant. He was in the farthest corner, covered in shadows.

“Did you hear what I said?” Randolph asked her suddenly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Wait, I just need to go to the powder room.” She excused herself and took a peek of the lone customer while she walked toward the Restroom.

The customer looked up. It was John Lloyd.

Sarah quickened her pace and signaled him to follow her.

“How did you get here?” She hissed at him when she thought they were already hidden from Randolph’s sight.

“I drove my car.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Having dinner? Why?”

“you’re the one who rented the place, aren’t you?”

“I didn’t want a crowded place. I think I’m starting to be claustrophobic.”

“That’s not funny Lloydy. You leave now.” She insisted.

“I’m serious. This morning, I felt I was going to be sick. I considered going to the hospital.”

“Visit a Shrink instead.”

“Do you think...?” He was still fooling around.

Sarah left him and went back to her table.

“That’s John Lloyd, right?” Randolph asked her.

“Yeah. Don’t mind him.” She did not deny it. They pretended that he was not there the whole time. She tried and she failed. If somebody would ask her what she and Randolph talked about, she wouldn’t know what to answer.

She was more aware of the number of times John Lloyd called the waited and ordered, in his loud voice. She could count how many times he dropped his spoon, or his fork and have it changed.

Sarah was more than ready when Randolph told her that they could leave and go home. It was only 8 o’clock in the evening.

“Wait for me here.” Randolph then went to John Lloyd’s table and said something before he came back for her.

“What did you tell him?”

“Same thing he told me, I’m alright with the competition. I’m prepared to fight for you.” Randolph smiled at her, and led her outside.

Sarah took a quick glance at John Lloyd. He was still sitting in the shadow.

***

13.6

“Good evening.”

“Good evening.” Shock was in her face and her voice.

She and her parents came home from a shoot and found John Lloyd’s parents waiting for them.

“Why....?”

Her mother had the same bewildered look. But not her dad. He didn’t look surprised at all.

“Don’t ask us, we also have no idea why we’re here. Idan just told us it’s important.” John Lloyd’s mom explained. They had a look of excitement with them.

“Hi, I wanted to surprise you.” John Lloyd came from the direction of the kitchen.

“Happy anniversary Tita, Tito.” He greeted Sarah’s parents.

“Happy anniversary!” His parents greeted Sarah’s parents.

“Next week.” Sarah’s mother clarified, still feeling the shock of finding John Lloyd’s parents in their house.

John Lloyd led them to the dining area, telling them he prepared a simple dinner as his surprise.

“You call this simple?” Sarah was stunned with what John Lloyd claimed to be a simple dinner. It was a feast!

The food was great. The conversation was light. It was a fun dinner. Especially when John Lloyd cleared the air that they were there for dinner only. Nothing else. Sarah’s mother seemed to relax after that and just enjoyed the rest of the night.

Before they left, John Lloyd sought Sarah.

“We’re going now.”

“Drive carefully.”

“I’m sorry about last night, it was childish of me.”

“It’s good that you know.” Sarah smiled. She now actually thought what he did funny.

“I can’t promise I won’t do it again.”

Sarah tried to punch him in his arm. He caught her fist.

They just looked at each other.

“Why are your parents here?” She asked.

“I wanted to prove something to myself.”

“To yourself? “

“Yes, because I realized something.”

“What?”

“You fear trusting me. You fear taking a risk with me. But have you ever considered that I’m also taking a risk? That each time I tell you how I feel about you, I’m making myself vulnerable? I also have my fears of getting hurt. So there... ”

John Lloyd gave her hand a squeeze. Kissed her on the cheek, and left.

Sarah wrapped her arms around her. She was familiar with her heartbeat. That night, she felt a different hearbeat. It didn’t seem to be her own heart but she felt it was hers.

-------------

This story is about to have its last chapters... Thank you my loyal readers for inspiring me to write my dream love story of Sarah & John Lloyd.

John Lloyd is right. Most times, we only think of our fears. We forget to consider that the one who chooses to love us, is also taking a risk of getting hurt.

When we love, we open ourselves not only to kilig but often a share a heartaches too.